RANTS
Just Slow Down
Just Slow Down - Feb 2009
Just Slow Down
On a wintersports holiday, we spend more time travelling up the mountain than we do coming down it. In the excitement of being in resort, it’s easy to view these journeys to the top simply as fillers between runs, something to complete as quickly as possible in order to maximise the number of descents. But this is a misguided approach. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as eager as the next snow addict to get up the slopes pronto. Much of the appeal of the mountains is the thrill of coming down them – be that on skis, snowboard or binbag. But impatience has fuelled a trend towards ski resorts constructing mass transport to get us up the slopes ever more quickly.
Funicular lifts - the underground trains that transport skiers and snowboarders up through the mountain to the top of the pistes - are a prime example. Many resorts boast these expensive feats of engineering, and at first glance they seem like a good idea. The funicular in Tignes, France, for example, can carry 280 people at a time, from Val Claret up the Grande Motte, 1000m higher vertically, in just seven minutes.
These journeys are the opposite of what a fun, relaxing holiday is all about. To access funicular trains, you may have to clamber along lengthy, soulless, concrete corridors built into the mountain. There often follows an exhilaration-draining 10-minute wait for the next train to arrive, after which the assembled crowd shuffles forward to squeeze into the carriages. The cramped journey is endured standing, invariably with your face in someone’s armpit while you try to ensure that your kit doesn’t end up in someone else’s eye as the g-force challenges your balancing skills. Why would you travel to one of the world’s most stunning natural environments, only to recreate a scene from London’s underground? It’s pure madness. Mass transport, even above ground, denies you this panoramic pleasure. Standing in a 100-person cable car, all you get is silent tedium (or a lot of mooing) and someone’s back to study for 10 minutes.
Whether travelling by cable car or funicular you get the same result at the top – a mass of people getting off at the same time to create a mini rush hour on the slopes.
Some 280 people setting off down the piste simultaneously is a recipe for carnage. It’s no wonder people cut each other up when their personal space has been reduced to battery-hen centimetres on the way up. It is not as if there isn’t an alternative. In most cases the same pistes are accessible by chairlifts. These deliver slope users to the top in a smooth flow and they give your legs a chance to recover. After a thigh-burner down a red run, there’s no shame in having a little sit down. You’re on holiday, remember?
What wintersports trip is complete without snowy landscapes unfolding before you as you ride in comfort? Don’t tell me that chairlifts are cold – it’s a ski resort for heaven’s sake, and that’s what Gore-Tex jackets, merino wool baselayers and coffee stops were invented for. Chairlift rides are quality time, during which you can plan your route and compare the piste map with the view of the real slopes below. For powder hounds, it’s a great chance to spot untouched snow just off the piste. Meanwhile, there is no better entertainment than looking down on a terrified novice trying to walk back up a black run, while their exasperated spouse shouts up at them, “Yes darling, you can ski down this bit.” Chairlifts are meeting points where, for 10 minutes or longer, strangers can become friends – bonded by a shared love of the slopes. If your companions are locals or familiar with the resort, the tips you glean are far better than what the tourist office provides. If you’re single, treat the journey like an extended speed date with a captive audience. Getting up the mountain should be about quality time, not speed. So shun the tunnels and cable cars wherever possible. Instead, get comfy on a chairlift and enjoy the ride.
Is there anything that gets your goat?
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